“Small Steps”: the last tango
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1 1/2 years of writing work.
200 chapters.
479 pages of script.
Today, the tango sessions of “Small Steps” have come to a close: the A draft is done.
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Wrapping up a novel is a strange experience, and it isn’t any less rare the third time around. There is the relief about having come through and having succeeded in bringing such a big project to a close. There is the sensation of vertigo and of being strangely airborne now that the responsibility of writing and the characters whose voices have inhabited your mind for so long start to fade away and leave you strangely devoid of mental luggage. And there is the sadness of having reached the end of such a journey and having to let go of the characters and writing patterns and the imprints they both have left on your everyday life.
Yet here I am, once again, and most likely not for the last time.
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So, what will happen next?
As far as “Small Steps” is concerned, the A draft will be edited (and possibly be uploaded to var[title]) since the story is, much like the two previous novels, ultimately intended for publication. When and if that will happen is yet to be determined. As most of you may know, I still have a Ph.D. dissertation to finish and I have vowed to myself that any intents of publishing (also for “Campus” and “Jungle Fever”) will have to wait until after my defense (which should happen at some point later this year).
It also means that I will not embark on a new novel (even though I already have a storyboard waiting in my nightstand drawer) until after I hand in my thesis script. There may be some short story or some genuine fan fiction (I haven’t forgotten that I promised a contribution to the Marina/Esther fandom) in the meantime, but big projects are on hold until the Ph.D. madness is over.
I’ll keep you updated on all fronts, of course, and hope to be back with the journey of a new novel before too long.
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For now, all that is left for me to do is to thank those who have accompanied me on this A draft adventure and whose thoughts, comments, support and feedback have made this journey anything but a lonesome travel. Thank you, each and every one of you, for your presence, for both your patience and your impatience, and for your unwavering interest in the story.
If I have accidentally inspired anyone to pick up tango lessons, all the better – we might cross paths at the salóns and milongas across this planet eventually.
Be well, and until the next story!
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updated April 7th 2010: For reasons of editing, I have withdrawn the A draft of “Small Steps” from mi@rroba. An edited version should emerge sooner or later (either as a book or as a web version).
Your Ph.D. will be a success as your web writings, you will see. Keep going and lots of luck for your writing future! Cheers!
I’ve left my many THANKS to a wonderful writer at the foro. Here I am for a last THANK YOU NORDIE and to wish you ALL THE LUCK in your Ph.D. dissertation. Be seeing you over here and there.
Thank you for the wonderful journey. What a tremendous joy to read. The experience was absolutely fantastic. I feel very fortunate to have had this opportunity and I am deeply grateful to you… in this moment, thank you seems so inadequate.
It’s going to be hard – no quick step in and watch is there a new update…thanks for everything and good luck for the dissertation
doris
I never commented at the foro because it was too trouble to register, but I want you to know that I find your work fantastic. I’ll miss checking every two days looking for new stepecitos.
good luck for your plans and I’ll wait hoping for new stories (fanfiction, short stories..whatever)
thank you
i too have not commented at the foro because of difficulties registering..i have thoroughly enjoyed this story..i love maca and esther and i love the way you bring them alive. I have also enjoyed campus and junle fever!!! Thanks Nordie and i look forward to whatever fiction you wish to share down the road.
I must say a big thank you for Small Steps i came across it by accident, or maybe not. my mother in her day was a dancer mostly ballroom so hearing again about the different moves brought back some good memories. All the best for your dissertation.
Lots of luck with everything: your thesis, your defense, your future endeavours!! (I’ve written a longer message on mi@.)
I absolutely love your work, to the point that I feel compelled to let you know, since you do not publish your books…
You have posted a track list for small steps, but at that point you were not settled on a Walse. Somehow, for me it was this one: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0mSHQgpeCbQ
Although, logically, it could not have been, they were not dancing a Viennese Waltz as far as I understand. But for what it’s worth…
Again, thank you for your writing and for sharing your talent. Wishing you all the best with your thesis and patiently waiting for more of your stories.
@A_KOTEHOK: thanks for posting! And for the waltz. – The problem with the tracklist is that I have a waltz which I put into the story, but I do, unfortunately, have no idea how it is called or where it is from, other than that it was a string-heavy ballroom disc. I’ll try to find out the title; or perhaps someone in the audience knows it…
(and that “publishing my stories” thing is definitely on my list of things to do. I just need to finish the Ph.D. first.)
Ah, I was sure you ahd to have a melody in mind. Do you have an audio of the walse you had in mind? It is entirely possible that someone knows this piece.
Good luck with your PhD. Out of curiosity – what is the subject?
@A_KOTEHOK: When I posted the chapter in question, it came with the music – it was this waltz. All I know is that it was a track No. 3 on a CD, but I can’t seem to find the CD again. – Any takers?
(I hope to be able to broadcast the title and contents in autumn, though. In bright neon letters!!)
The Ph.D. subject still falls under the rules of superstition, as in ‘I’m not allowed to say it out loud until it is finished’, so until then I’ll say “Assyrian Pottery”.
LOL. “Assyrian Pottery” is as detailed as I probably would ever get. I do remember that Assyrians were quite an advance nation, but beyond several peces of sculpture nothing springs to mind… But I’ll be sure to look it up when you proudly display it. I am sure it would beat a maths paper any day
The waltz you have does not ring any bells, but hopefully someone from the large following of the small steps would figure it out. It is actually wonderfully slow, great for beginners. Somehow, with the Small Steps, you managed to finally hook me up on balroom dancing. It was the final push that inspired me to pick it up to the eternal embarassement and secret delight of my gf. She loves dancing, but never tried it for herself, since she is an adorable clutz
I have added this waltz to our practice music selection. Thank you.
@A_KOTEHOK: it’s lovely to hear that “Small Steps” managed to give you the final push towards ballroom classes! If you already have waltz practice selections, it’s sounds like you’re pretty far ahead already.
A little message to say that, for me, Maca, Esther, and “Small Steps” have gone beyond the printed page and become a part of my thought process. “Just what do you mean by this?,” perplexed people might be asking…
Well, today, I was surfing a website about flamenco musicians and dancers and came across an interview with Cristina Hoyos in which she was asked, “How important was your time with Antonio Gades?” When I read the beginning of her reply, “You have to realise that I spent more than 20 years with him,” my thoughts immediately went to “Small Steps” and how this sentiment could have easily applied to Maca and Esther, if the story had continued further into the future, i.e. some 20 or 30 years down the line. (As the story is currently written, I would have to say that C. Hoyos’ statement would be most applicable to Maca and Mateo, no?)
Here is the URL for that interview that I read: http://www.esflamenco.com/scripts/news/ennews.asp?frmIdPagina=688. If you have trouble reading it, Anik, let me know and I’ll copy and paste it for you and send it via PM or email.
On a side note, Cristina Hoyos really _is_ amazing. I saw her in her first performance in Salamanca after her mastectomy, but it wasn’t until the next day, when I read the local newspapers, that I learnt about the mastectomy and how it had affected her choreography for that performance. After reading the article and understanding what had happened in her personal life, I appreciated even more the standing ovation that we had given her before she started to perform, and I understood much more why the people had been so emotional. I just wished that I had known this information before the performance so that I could have appreciated things all the more *as* the performance was happening. Oh, well, c’est la vie. Interestingly, a lot of women of all ages were in the audience, perhaps to show their support for her? And the performance was sold out, so there must have been at least 1000 people in that tiny space. Thank goodness it didn’t rain!
(In case anyone is wondering where I saw her perform, I saw her in July 1999, when she performed “Al compás del tiempo” with her troupe as part of the “Las Noches del Fonseca” programme at the Colegio Fonseca at the University of Salamanca [USAL], Spain.)
All this just to say that “Small Steps” and the characters of Maca, Esther, and Mateo transcend the printed words, at least in my mind!
(And, *no*, I’m not crazy, 
)
Hope all is well with everyone & I’m missing Maca & Esther dancing together,
Don’t worry, I have plenty of stepecitos to turn to to assuage the pain….Argh! I just started reading “Small Steps”: Emergency Posting 165, and that was the *wrong* stepecito to turn to! Hahahahaha! Okay, I’m off to find a happier stepecito. 
¡Ciao tod@s!
i really love your work its just wonderful. i needed to know if “small steps” is allredy avialable again although i have read it i want to read it again i loveeeee this story thank you for everything you are a gift. ciao
@heavensign: many thanks for the feedback! “Small Steps” isn’t back up yet; it’s in line for after I finish editing “Dare” for var[title].
I’ll put up a note on this blog when “Small Steps” is available again.
many thanks for your quick reply. i will wait. ciao
I’m so sad that I missed reading Small Steps. I really do hope that you’ll post it back online! Pretty Pleaseee!
Best wishes on your PhD!
thanks!
As soon as the Ph.D. is through, I’ll see to getting Small Steps back out there – either printed or online. I’ll put up a post when it’s due!
Thank you!
I can’t wait to read it! 
I hope it’ll be posted online 
May I ask what the story “Dare” is about?
We are all looking forward to calling you Dr. very very soon! Best wishes!
“Dare” is an epilogue the the short-lived (one season only) Italian show “Terapia d’urgenza” – under the tag in the sidebar you can find episode recaps and translations of the whole story about the love affair between Marina, the pediatrician, and Esther, the head nurse.
Since the show ended on a rather unhinged cliffhanger for our girls, I tried to put some order into things and give them a proper finale.
- As always with my writing, knowledge of the show is not really necessarily, but may double the fun.
Hello! I know you’re pretty tired answering this question.
But, may we ask when you’ll release Small Steps? 
Do you have a definite/estimate time?
no, I never tire of interesting in my work, makes me happy every time! I have no ETA yet, only that nothing will happen until late November, since that is when I plan to hand in my dissertation. Then I’ll have some time to breathe until the Ph.D finals in spring which I fully plan to use to edit various of my stories, and then it will depend on the potential publishers.
As soon as there are news, I’ll let you know.
Thank you so much for your kind response! It’ll be a great Christmas gift to us being able to read Small Steps! I’ve heard so much great reviews that I can’t wait!
Best wishes with your PhD studies!
can anybody mail me the fanfic ‘SMALL STEPS’ to me at my id tinotaura@gmail.com..plleeeeeese
Hi Tino,
I’m flattered that you’re that interested in my work. I did, however, pull the novel “Small Steps” offline for now, as posted several times above, asking for understanding that I want to edit it. The work on it was a huge investment for me and I want to bring it into an appropriate form. – The story will be available again eventually.
Just a little patience, please. And I’d appreciate it if there were no requests for unauthorized versions. Thank you for your understanding.
Hello Anik Lachev! How is your thesis going? I’m sure it’s going well!
Would the small steps be released this year?
Hello Afan,
my thesis committee told me yesterday that they may not find time to give me filing permission until December, so I’ll have to wait and see how much time will be left for editing ficiton this year!
At the moment, crazy busy with footnotes and editing of the non-fiction thesis.
Thanks for your continued interest in my work!
Hello, Anik.
I have casually found your story “Jungle Fever” and I can’t stop reading it! Beautiful and very touching love story.
Characters are deep, well developed and believable, I felt heroes as real. I often would like to pass to other page at reading some fanfiction because dialogues or are banal and boring, or the plot is too predicted and it becomes again boring and again this damned feeling of a deja vu. But here I have read all from chapter 1 and to last. Good mix of drama and love. I’m not able to write the good review, sorry, but I think, it’s amazing and very talented work from. BRAVO! And many thanks to you!!!
I with impatience shall wait, when I can read continuation. And good luck to you!
PS: Oh, and sorry for my English. It’s not my native language.
PPS: From Russia with love, huh))
Spassiba, Akaisha!
There is not really a continuation to “Jungle Fever” (“Small Steps” has a completely different setting). While “Small Steps” is offline at the moment, another novel (“Campus”) is still available, as is various fan fiction work.
Thank you for the compliments – I am glad to hear you enjoyed the “Jungle”!
Аргх, божественно))
Thanks for the quick reply. Huh, excuse, I haven’t understood, well it isn’t important. I love all your stories, and also I want to read too this)) I am sure I will love this one as well, I’m an optimist)
* without exaggerating and without underestimating
Hello! Small Steps pls
Hello! filing Ph.D. at the moment
If I’m lucky, I’ll find the time over Christmas to edit “Dare” to go up on var[title], which wanted to do in spring already. Then I’ll see about Small Steps and new writings.
Happy New Year! Very desperate for the Small Steps final version!
Best wishes to your PhD!
Thanks!
Ph.D. is filed, defense in preparation, I finished the rework of “Dare” (hanibal will upload it once she gets a free evening, probably by mid-February),— almost room for the next project!
Awesome! COngratulations! All the very best for your defense.
I’ve have read Dare and loved it! With the Dare revised version is there a big difference with the original one?
Thanks!
Thanks
There’s no big difference between versions – fewer typos, some things smoothed over, but no major changes.
Thank you!
Looking forward to Small Steps because I heard excellent reviews!
hey nordica
i am the biggest fan of yours…pllllllllllllleeeeese give us the web version of small steps asap….
if it turns out that I can’t publish “Small Steps” (I still hope it will work out and give me the chance to continue writing), it’ll go online right away.
For now, I’m still trying to improve the script (next to editing the Ph.D. script for print).
hey anik
happy x mas and happy new yr 2012…looking forward to ur small steps…all the very best to u
I’m looking forward to it, too! While I do have a set of galley proofs on my desk right now, it’s not the one for Small Steps yet (bugger…)
hi! i was wondering where I could find “Small Steps” to read??? I’m a huge Maca/Esther fan, but unfortunately there aren’t that many Maca/Esther English fics around, I’m interested in reading what you’ve written! Is there anyway that I can read it?
Thanks so much!
I am sorry – it’s not available at the moment, since I’m editing it for publication. But if that doesn’t work out, I’ll put the original draft back online.
Thanks for your interest!
hi anik..being a huge fan of ur work looking forward to small steps..:-)
u know, two yrs ago, wen i was undergoing a stressful office situation, i went on leave and during that period i read jungle fever..my god..wat an experience..i used read my fav. parts of the story again and again..smiling..crying..grinning like a fool some times engrossed in the story…i donno how to put it exactly..but my whole energy was renewed..then i went back to work after 7 days and came out of situation..then i searched all ur marvellous creations and finished reading one by one..my all time favourite is “cAMPUS”..I am sad i was too late and missed small steps…looking forward to that..tnx..tnq..may god bless u ..all d very best to u…:-)
hi Tino, thank you for the feedback and for sharing your story. I am glad that you managed to sort out the stress at the office!
The past year has been so busy with applications and then with “Troubled Passage” that I haven’t managed to make much leeway on my editing projects. As soon as “Troubled Passage” wraps up, I will get back on that. Thank you for your patience!
Very cool! Congrats on the draft and good luck with the next steps!