250,000 hits and many, many search terms

Eye Bags has made it to a quarter million of hits. Time for my favorite pastime in absence of mezzos: another look at the most popular search terms and the phrases that make people end up on this site.

If I were to make a cake diagram of search terms, the biggest slices over the past few months would go to “Terapia d’urgenza” (and in particular to Marina), and, even moreso, to mezzo favorite Malena Ernman (and in particular, her arms).

No, I’m not exaggerating. Take the following, random search term listings, all between the 150,000 and the 250.000 hits mark, and then tell me that I’m alone with my appreciation of sculpted female arms. I don’t think so…

QED. And whoever feels motivated to hit the gym now could always try to copy Ernman’s workout routine.

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I talk little about my Ph.D. these days. I know. It’s not that I’m not working on it. It’s more than I’m afraid to jinx it. Still, there were some related search terms over the summer:

No, we don’t have doctoral rings. We don’t have doctoral hats, either. But if we had doctoral rings, I’m sure they’d be to wear in our noses, and not on our fingers, so that the supervisors could keep us in front of the plough more easily.

I’m on my way! At the moment, it’s still “bitter pre-doc”. But who knows what’s next?!

Another interesting observation was the change in lesbian trends. Nobody wanted “lesbians with glasses” this summer. Instead, the sought out qualities are curves, lingerie, Italian and muscle:

Do they look different than straight women in stockings, and if so, how can you tell?

Nothing wrong with a bit of muscle (see above, endlessly). I’m puzzled by Cougar Town, though. Wouldn’t that be older women falling for younger partners? And isn’t that the exact opposite of what we’re doing here? On the agenda next time: Girls in Uniform (1558).

In case you can’t recall “that complicated Serbian surname”, “androgynous contralto” will do.

Again, how does it differ from a straight one? And how can I tell?!

Really? Well, as long as they’re wearing white shirts (and know the Xena battle cry).

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And this edition’s prize for the “most precise search term” goes to…

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On to the section of “Singers we wish were gay, so we gay-google them and end up on Eye Bags”:

Not gay.

At least spell Ms. Naglestad’s first name right.

Antonacci… I don’t think so, but is anyone else disturbed by the vision of Diana Damrau singing and skipping through the woods?

Kasarova is not 6 ft. tall, even though she easily gives the impression while singing. Also, Mr. Kaufmann is still straight, married to a woman and a father of three (last time I counted).

Anne Sofie von Otter: not gay. It’s a Swedish mezzo thing: they’re great at playing guys on stage, but are married straight mothers of two offstage. And really, who would mind?

Straight. Married. One daughter. Doesn’t make her any less convincing as Giulio Cesare, though.

Right listing, wrong person. – It’s the other one, who’s also married to a mezzo.

I suppose this is supposed to mean “Ernman AND lesbians”, to which I can only say: Ernman is a great straight ally. Also, we really dig those arms.

Lakmé was not gay, but the opera would sure be a whole lot more interesting if she ran off with Mallika instead of dying for that stupid Gérald. – Fan fiction, anyone?!

I don’t think so.

Straight. Married. – And isn’t it weird that only singers who have trouser roles in their repertory get the gay google treatment? DiDonato should be much more known for incredible team spirit and seriously good photography.

No idea about Breslik, so I won’t presume either way. Bartoli, however, seems to have catapulted herself onto the gay google list with “Sacrificium”. Never mind she has sung trouser roles before. And never mind the fact that she is straight and partnered.

Another victim of the “trouser role trap”, it seems (that should vanish if she continues her Carmen performances)! – Married to a man. Likes trees, though. And gives interesting interviews.

And, finally, the first question for bisexual opera singers. I don’t know anyone of name, but perhaps we should start a new listing?

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Another big part of this summer’s search terms was the Italian tv show “Terapia d’urgenza”, with its unreliable airing schedule, sudden cancellation and a very unwelcome cliffhanger finale (we’re working on a fictional solution to that).

That pretty much sums it up.

Nice try.

Also around: alternative parings!

(not sure whether this merits a “Non gè”)

Marina was shot down in the final 18th episode. Leaked scripts for the improbable Season 2 indicate that she would have survived, lived through an affair with the daughter of the boss and then gotten back together with Esther.

Also, I want the recipe to Spaghettini alla ceciliana. Who needs the traditional “alla siciliana” when you can have a Roman recipe?!

Apropos Romans. Terapia d’urgenza has also sparked some serious lesbian following for Marina actress Alessia Barela. In particular someone who didn’t get any pleasing answer to the query of “Alessia Barela gay?” tried out all possibly related terms to finagle some facts out of Googleland. Oh dear. – Another case of “sbarelamento”? Our Italian experts will know.

Oh, I agree, Ms. Barela is smoking, but still, her private life is just that: hers. And private.

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Back to that Bartoli confusion: the photo shoot for “Sacrificium” has caused quite a gender riot in search terms, which just goes to show that all you need to do is don is some tailcoats if you want some opera dyke attention – although I don’t think anyone ever before garnered attention for both “leather” and “marble suits”.

Finally, there were the usual (or rather: unusual) odds and ends when it comes to search terms:

Oh, if only politeness in asking would grant our requests!

…huh? – I’m a sworn caffeine addict. Seriously. Not much tea around here.

Just to avoid confusions: yes, I wrote two Maca/Esther related Über novels. I also wrote “Campus”, which is also an Über novel, but has nothing to do with Maca and Esther. For Maca/Esther, try “Jungle Fever”. Or the more independent “Small Steps”.

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Our most successful new feature seem to be the white shirt Mondays – we’ll continue as long as their are photos to find! Also, there seems to be a new hairstyle trend that I missed so far:

…is it gay? And is it in any way related to lesbian sopranos?

“Marina, hands, oops”: sounds like an upcoming chapter of “Dare.” – And Samantha? Did we miss one of your novels, where someone dresses up as a nurse, or are you working on a new one already?

Good for you! – Although I don’t understand why that made you end up here, unless it is related to Connolly’s Cesare.

Search term in 2009. – I’d be happy if she still were around to cancel because that would mean that this exceptional mezzo would still be alive and singing.

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And now for the final “favorite weird search term”. I have two, though, since I cannot decide which of the two is  weird erin relation to the matter of this blog:

As always, thank you for your visits, your time and your participation on this site. – See you at the next mark!

~ by Anik LaChev on November 11, 2009.