Friday Night Conversation: Pepa & Silvia

[subtitles video with thanks to pepsienglish2]

Welcome to Friday Night Conversation. This is a new posting format, suggested by you, dear readers, in the wake of the Marina/Esther TdU story “Dare”. Comments after chapters turned into nice international conversations about various topics – much, though not all of them, related to femslash – and after “Dare” was finished, the conversation went on.

And now the posts are back, too. – I probably won’t be able to do this every Friday, but as long as there are people interested in having a conversation, I’ll try to offer a LGBT-related text (focus on “L”), sometimes non-fiction,  perhaps sometimes fiction, and invite you to share your opinions, thoughts and experiences.

This first topic comes right out of the discussion following the finale of “Dare” that centered around various maintext femslash couples currently on air. Last week, we had a brief moment of blind reunion between Pepa and Silvia of “Los Hombres de Paco” (LHDP).

You probably all know this couple and could cite their most important dialogs in both English and Spanish, but in case someone just stumbled in… “Los Hombres de Paco” is a Spanish cop dramedy that took a turn for the supernatural in its current season. For much of the last two years, the show featured a lesbian relationship between tall-dark-and-handsome  cop Pepa and Forensics Officer Silvia.

Despite some trademark “lesbian moments should generally be framed by a middle man” philosophy, and some stereotypical, but thankfully brief “wanting a child/sleeping with men/cheating” storyline, this show got it right. To me, these two are the best portrayal of a lesbian relationship on TV so far – as far as I’m concerned Pepa and Silvia are magic. Even the Curtis-falls-for-Pepa-and-suggests-threesome storyline that I would have hated anywhere else managed to come through with Pepa and Silvia making out and stealing each other’s bras and with all of us feeling really sorry for poor Curtis.

Unfortunately, Silvia’s character died a very gruesome death last year (on her wedding day, in her wedding dress, leaving a windowed Pepa behind). The actress wanted to leave the show, and how do you break up the perfect couple? Not at all. Only by death. (or witness protection). I still think it should have been less gory then bleeding out into her own wedding dress.

If all this is new to you, cancel your weekend plans, head over to the current English Channel dedicated to Pepa and Silvia on YouTube and follow their story from Day One. And while you’re there, don’t miss the Magic of the Hangar (and ignore the porn saxophon in the background music, please).

After Silvia’s unfortunate demise, there was an international campaign lobbying for her return the likes of which I haven’t seen in the dozen years I’ve now been around fandoms.

And with the show continuing in its new supernatural season, and WidowPepa sacrificing everything to get even with the person responsible for Silvia’s death, there was an interview with Laura Sanchez (Pepa) where she hinted at a “Ghost” (re)appearance of Silvia, which brings us to last week and the clip above – continuing to work the “one true love” story they have given Pepa and Silvia so far. They still wear their wedding rings, there’s tears and invocations of that “one”, everlasting love.

Anyone around here who did not cry like a baby?

I did.

And more so, after many month without watching any clips of the show I was surprised at how much of a gut reaction I had to seeing Silvia reappear. As if the loss to the fandom community had only been come apparent by the character’s renewed appearance, making the empty spot she left that much more palpable.

And my question is: why are Pepa and Silvia a pairing that manages to touch so many people from so many different walks of life all around the planet so much?

Is it the mixture between cute and playful in the slow build-up that probably reminds many of us of their own first love? Is it the way the story is treated as a love story like any other, with addressing fear of coming out, but without making it a central issue? (Re: Hangar!)? Or is it the way the story narrative resembles a fairy tale in always putting those two back together and having them seem intended for the other from the first moment on (despite Silvia’s earlier marriage to Lucas, it was later revealed that the first kiss she had ever shared had, in fact, been with Pepa)? Is it that comforting sense of a determined, intended relationship that thus can withstand all doubts, with even the “Ghost” scene last week touching once more the “one and only” myth? The myth of purpose, and not of distraction?

What is the secret of Pepa & Silvia?

What – if you like this couple – go it you hooked on them, what is your favorite scene? (IF you don’t like them: what’s turning you off?) What makes them so damn perfect? And do you have any fanfic recommendations regarding these two characters?

And what’s your opinion on Sanchez’s recent statement that Pepa “is in love with Silvia, but she needs someone to give her a hug”? What do you think about the possibility of Pepa hooking up with somebody else? Is your hair standing on end like mine at the mere suggestion or do you accept the reality of TV show business (hell no, why else would we be into fanfic?) that dictates that a single female character under 70 must be paired off again ASAP? And what would be worse  – if Pepa “needs a hug” would mean hooking her up with a man or a with woman?

Personally, I’d prefer a lonely and driven Pepa. And Silvia coming back eventually. This show IS supernatural now, right? Silvia came already back once… right? So she could come back again… right??!! The only thing she needs to work on is visibility. To Pepa, that is. – It could be a cameo in the last episode ever, I don’t care, it would give everything a frame of meaning.

Do you have a favorite “Silvia returns” scenario?

I only have one demand: it’s got to raise goosebumps.

…and apropos goosebumps:

136 thoughts on “Friday Night Conversation: Pepa & Silvia”

  1. Well said. I agree that Pepa can only be a lonely and driven woman until Silvia comes back. My favourite Pepsi moment is the parking lot scene when Pepa frisks Silvia. I’m still thinking about a Silvia returns scenario. If we could turn back time!


  2. That second scene is very beautiful. I have actually never seen this show before in any context. I had to look it up and have google translate a Spanish language wiki page.

    The show premise seems rather odd, but the two women, oh my.

    I think I need to go and watch some more, hm?

    And I do hope this Friday thing, when it happens, becomes popular, it’s a great idea and that is quite some essay there you wrote Anik. More on that when I have seen more of the show itself and can comment with any authority.


  3. I would love to discuss anything about Pepa and Silvia. I watched it for days and when I saw the ending I cried for hours after it was done. I wish that Silvia would come back. Does anyone know why the actress that played Silvia left?


  4. To anonymous. Marian Aguilera the actress that played Silvia said she just wanted to do other things (from what I’ve read and watched)


  5. I can’t speak much about Pepa&Silvia. I watched some youtube videos, but I didn’t become their fan. Maybe the type of TV programme, maybe the actresses’ performance, maybe I’m a freak. Or just that I’m such a Maquista [ILM yeah] that whenever I watch some other characters I sing “nothing compares to you”. 😆


    1. LOL, I have no idea what you are talking about but it made me laugh, the comment about nothing compares to you. And now I have that song in my head, thanks!


  6. I’d love to watch Silvia come back again – I can’t imagine Pepa being with Deker or any other character of LHDP. TV storywriters have a way to twist their actors in whatever direction suits them best and hopefully act on Pepsi’s popularity. In the end it’s probably up to Marian to decide if she wants to get back on the show. Her acting was wonderful – she can tell a story without saying a word – it’s all written in her face. That’s what I loved most about Pepsi and what made it so credible and real to me.


  7. On the portal of Antena 3 are already over 170 comments against Pepa with Deker – that’s a strong fandom Pepsi can count on.


  8. Ah it’s Xena and Gabby all over again… It’s odd but back in the GOXD (good old Xena days) I was a) younger, b) childless, c) internet-less (weird, life with the webz… seems so long ago). So I invested a lot in the TV shows I did watch (Xena, Portait of a Marriage, err, actually that’s about it!), never was a huge TV fan.

    But in those days I loved the characters very deeply, got very involved, felt distraught when they died or split up (as lesbian couples *always* did then, and sadly pretty much always do now too). Partly because there was so little that felt familiar on TV. Partly because you watched whole episodes, once a week, on a day and time determined by someone else.

    These days I enjoy seeing YT collections of clips of ‘couples’ like this. But I don’t feel the same investment. Usually… except these 2. The reason? Easy – MA. She can act. Really act. She commands the screen. She’s authentic. And I’m with Anik – there’s something about the fact that this is so *not* about being lesbian. It’s very ‘post-lesbian’. Very contemporary feeling. It’s not an issue. It’s not not an issue (if that makes sense). The rest of the show seems crazy and I would never have watched it back in the GOXD. But MA invests Silvia with such veracity that as long as there is YT I’ll be periodically checking out the PS clips!

    And thanks Anik – great idea. After all with so little to watch on TV the gang have to have something to do on a Friday night 😉 Thanks also for a thought provoking topic and excellent post.


    1. I totally agree with @Puritymccall when she addresses Marian Aguilera’s performance on this show. But I would like to mention here that, at my point of view, Laura Sanchez’s performance is much better than it could be expected from someone that was a top model for living. The chemistry between Marian / Laura is something unusual, perfect, if compared, for example, to another Spanish actresses Fatima Baeza/Patricia Vico from HC.

      And yes, Anik, excellent job /topic !


      1. on a side note regarding LHDP and HC: personally, I find both the Maca/Esther and the Pepa/Silvia chemistry very convincing, though they are very different and I think much about is centered on the cult of youth Western societies are currently practicing: female bodies have to be nubile, near andorgynous, more fragile than strong, and God forbid something scary and “Different” (from the male nubile body) like too much hips or chest or belly. Silvia and Pepa – as a fact, this goes without attaching a judgment – fall into the category of young, slim bodies that evoke the sense of youth: everything is fresh, new, in a way nonthreatening, and it mirrors a bit in their love story which starts with a first kiss and seems to have fallen out of the sky in all its breathless wonder.

        One of the things I love most about Maca and Esther and which might turn many viewers, who have been raised on the pattern described above, away form them, is the fact that they break this pattern. While Maca may still pass as a more conventional “hottie”, she’s always had arms, she’s always had somewhat of a belly, she’s always been more woman than girl. Both Maca and Esther have more of a grounded, less airy attitude. They defy the “a desirable woman needs to be young and have a boy’s body with some breasts and lipstick attached” meme. I’ve always wondered whether we’ve gotten so used to those boy bodies with breasts attached that we don’t know to appreciate a woman, period, when we see her (the most notable exception at the moment would be Sara Ramirez on Grey’s Anatomy) and when she is not cast as the funny best friend or mother, but as the woman who is desired – as a subject, not as an object – not the controllable younger “girl”, but the woman that would be an equal.

        The subject/Object line is something LHDP often blurs. They made it trademark in a way that sometimes, you don’t know if something is subversive or voyeuristic. Already that first exchange in bathroom is framed by two much older men playing peeping toms at the bathroom door. When Pepa and Silvia FINALLY make up after the separation, their kiss is filmed with the awaking Curtis in the middle. They get the relationship of Pepa and Silvia SO right – but there is always a man watching.


        1. BTW Anik, I keep thinking about your point about the blurring of the subject/object line in LHDP. It’s true, there’s always a male eye for every big step in PepSi’s relationship. I noticed it in even more strength when I went back and started reviewing early episodes this last time around: Montoya is constantly under foot to start with, crushing on Pepa, from as early at the scene in Lola’s cafe where Pepa apologizes to Silvia for blowing their cover on the stakeout, to that coming-out moment in the tactical van when Pepa grips Silvia’s hand in support and sends her the “I love you & we’ll get through this together” look. Of course, Paco and DL peeping through the bathroom door, and — even grosser — DL watching Silvia & Pepa make love in the vacation cabin. Ewwwww!!! 🙂 And, most of all, Curtis. But, as you point out, they do seem to make fun of the male eye as much as they continue to utilize it. Don’t you feel almost like we’re paying a toll for our queerdo moments? It used to be that the only thing that could validate our existence was if some guy was getting off on the idea of two women together — otherwise, we were supposed to be asexual, or not to exist at all…a community of sexless boston marriages or something… LHDP admits (str8) men are gonna look, but kind of has fun with it. They’re kind of getting to have it both ways, no?


          1. They are definitely having it both ways – though sometimes (DL walking in on them in the cabin is another perfect example), as happy as I am watching, I end up feeling used and want to protest. Scenes between Pepa and Silvia are still great, but the framing – if it isn’t deconstructing itself as it happens with the Curtis storyline – sometimes leaves me feeling tainted and used. Again, it’s the blurring of that subject/object line. Another example: Silvia, out of nowhere, stripping nearly down to her bra, asking, albeit not seriously, whether the one she wears qualifies for a threesome with Curtis. As a scene outline, even if it is a joke, I find it sexist and gratuitous. But then you’ve got the “PepSi magic” evening it out to a point that you forget how stupidly the scene started. A lot of it is due to the acting, I think, although there also had to be someone among the writers who secretly rooted for the lesbians.


            1. (Dons rose-colored glasses): I guess I was thinking that even this showed some sort of progression on mainstream media’s part — making fun of the male super-observer at least puts “him” on the margin with the women in the center, whereas those locations are reversed in the usual mode: the male eye at the center of the garden, naming everything, with all of us women and other animals just waiting to be named… (Do I need to clarify that I’m not talking about a particular male or men, but rather an iconic figure of a male eye, here?) I guess I was thinking, if this is one step on the road to being full status protagonists in mainstream media, I’d be OK with it for…about a second. 😉 And, I agree, it’s the strong acting of MA and LS that makes it impossible for their characters to be relegated to the border… (Doffs rose-colored glasses) But all this reminds me of something else… That moment last year when, mind and heart reeling from various noxious events in various parking lots/wedding receptions/cutting room floors, all I could think was: I’m never watching another mainstream depiction of a lesbian couple again. Where are my peeps’ webisodes? And I redoubled my efforts to watch and support all the queer women out there making queer stories for us… Not that I, like, started a foundation or something. 🙂 And, as you can tell, I’m still watching mainstream media. But, I did start more actively searching for shows like Chica Busca Chica, Plan V, Anyone But Me, Venice, etc.


            2. supporting queer filmmakers to success and, subsequently, into the mainstream may still be the best bet to have “our” stories told truthfully – not that straight filmakers can’t make great queer movies, many of them do.
              But what I would wish for is a general shift of perspective – that a “gay storyline” on a mainstream show is not seen as a diversion from the normal that starts at some definite point and then logically has to end at some point, to have normalcy resume, but to have queer storylines incorporated from the get go, as something that is part of normality and not as something “special” that has to disappear again.


  9. Hello everybody!
    It is so nice to keep talking and sharing my thoughts, thanks to Anik’s effort and commitment on providing us another opportunity/place to discuss relationship’s issues, mainly those ones between same-sex female couples.

    Going to the point now, I also would like to have Pepa and Silvia again, but Silvia coming as a ghost does not solve their problem I think, even if Pepa came to see her the same way Paco does….Therefore, I believe Pepa needs time to accept and deal with her loss and, why not, give herself a second chance. Considering that Silvia can at least see her and be aware of Pepa’s feelings (that is what is shown in the show), I think that if Pepa was in love with someone else again, Silvia would be able to realize that she still is irreplaceable and that Pepa deserves to pursue her own happiness. I do believe she deserves another chance.
    But, Pepa & Derek: NO WAY!


  10. Spoiler warning….

    In case anyone is interested the actor who plays Decker (please no Pecker *pokes eyes out*) mentioned MA would be making another appearance on LHDP, though I don’t know if it’s only in one episode or more in a recurring capacity. That said, seeing as A3 is playing with their audience with showing a Pecker clip headlined with how will the PepSi fans feel… is this really a question *read sarcasm* Lets just say regardless, of the heartfelt moment TPTB just gave us, I’m hesitant to believe the way the story-line is going anything positive will come even with the return of Silvia or should I say “Ghost Silvia”. Then again with the supernatural theme, maybe anyting is possible.

    Still even with some WTF moments, and cliches in the writing at times, PepSi has touched a cord in myself in being a hopeless romantic. The back-story of their first kiss, and how in the end the found each other again finding “home”; not to mention the chemistry btw the actresses made this one of the best love-stories to play out on tv. And I say love-story instead of lesbian couple, because while it touched on the issues such as Silvia’s “coming out”/etc, as Anik points out the driving force of this couple was their love, and for the most part was treated equally to the other couples.


  11. I agree with the lovestory-concept. And relating to soulmates it makes no sense to just be with somebody else – Deker or whoever – so soon after burying your love. It won’t work, not even in TV and PepSi fans won’t buy it.
    As for Silvia’s return- I’d love to see Marian back on the show because without her the series lost its appeal to me.


    1. ITA I’m not buying Pepa after so soon losing her soul-mate being with somebody else especially Decker that buy the way (again Spoiler warning- apparently hooks up in the lab, which is a slap to the PepSi fans IMO).

      Speaking of cliches, one thing that truly bothers me for a character to identify herself as lesbian, the show acts counter to that proclamation. I find this especially true considering a past LS interview she she mentioned something to the effect while Pepa is in love with Silvia, will use men for a moment of comfort. Though, the men part was later diluted to “people”. Still have to wonder if the changing of the wording was simply a way to gloss over in trying not to cause any uproar in the PepSi/LBGT community.

      Now maybe TPTB are trying to imply Pepa may “use” men, but only falls in love with women, but I find it a gross misrepresentation, and simply should of labeled Pepa bisexual instead IMO. I get the sense the TPTB are trying to “have their cake and eat it too” by trying to appease their lesbian following with Pepa is still in love with her wife, but at the same time using her grief/trying to cope as an excuse to pair Pepa with a man.

      I also agree this new version of LHDP has lost the essence of what made LHDP so appealing to the audience in the first place. Now it’s just dark, almost depressing, and even when LHDP tries to install those classic touches of humor it falls flat. TPTB tried to reinvent the wheel, but forgot the “golden rule” of knowing, or should I say caring about your core audience.

      Back to what made PepSi so special, I felt they balanced each other out helping to counter Silvia’s neurotic, and Pepa’s impulsive (act before thinking) side. Not saying those characteristics weren’t still present, but as their relationship grew, they grew as individuals as well. And in that sense I can sort of understand to a point of Pepa losing that balance/her beloved Silvia that we see the out of control Pepa that’s playing out this season. I just think there were better (less cliche)ways to show how lost Pepa is without her soul-mate.


      1. very valid points, Anonymous. I agree that there would be better ways to show Pepa lost, though with TV laws demanding to hook her up, it might be difficult to find producers willing to explore options apart from hooking her up with a) guys or b) girls.

        Thinking about it (even though it IS “having their cake and eating it, too”), I find it less offensive to have Pepa be a lesbian in mourning who sleeps with guys out of loneliness because there is no other woman for her after Silvia, than to see her fall for another woman (which would ruin the “one and only” backstory PepSi was given).

        I don’t think Pepa sleeping with men would make her bisexual – following contemporary theory, I would argue that sexuality is defined by what we feel, and not by what we do. I could spend my life sleeping with me, but I’d be just as gay, falling only for women. – Perhaps the same would be true for Pepa?

        Framing a Pepa/Deker scene in the lab might even be interpreted as Pepa trying to stage some kind of human closeness in a space that allows her to be linked somehow to Silvia. On the other hand, it’s about as gross as dressing your new girlfriend in the clothes of the old one (it’s “Vertigo” all over again!).

        I, too, miss the humor LHDP used to have, the amazing combination of touching and hilarious, often at the same time. Povedilla used to be my home girl!! Now, I barely watch. At least not new episodes.


        1. I am so late, Maybe nobody home? The lab scene distressed me to no end, it was their special place since they were never filmed at home. But later on, with the comisaria renovation, new paint, new blinds I noticed the lab now is downstairs whears before it was on the second foor, maybe the reason Pepa didn ‘ t feel special conexion with the lab.


  12. After a deserved night sleep I have just re-read Anik’s text. Anik has asked us ‘What is the secret of Pepa & Silvia?’ I started watching LHDP during the second semester of 2008, at the very beginning of TDU. At the same time, I started watching HC as well. It was amazing because until that time I had NEVER payed attention to youtube’s stuff before. Youtube, in fact, had never existed to me until that semester.
    LHDP seemed to be a crazy comedy with touchs of some drama when showing Paco and his crazy co-workers commited to solve the most amazing situations. But when the subject was P&S relationship, it called my attention that it seemed the show had changed completely. Their relationship was treated in a serious and tender way. At the very beginning a doubtful Silvia (and the famous Hangar scene). Then Pepa tired of listening to Silvia sharing with her the excuses she had given her father in order to justify her absence (to stay with Pepa). Until the moment Pepa announces that they both are dating!! Well, I do not remember an atmosphere of gossip among their friends in the police headquarter. I recap that their acceptance as a couple occurred normally. Am I wrong?

    Anik, I guess the answer is not an only one, but the mix of several ‘ingredients’ you quoted: “cute and playful in the slow build-up” plus “the story is treated as a love story like any other” plus ” having them seem intended for the other”. I got hooked on them because this couple had had, so far, a real chance of being happy without facing prejudices. The scenes recorded showed us the pure and deep love between two women and that they also deserved to be happy together regardless of being same-sex couple. Scenes like thouse may sound obvious, but are in fact what the audience wants to see. Who could forecast that awful ending?

    My favorite scene has been the one that took place in the bathroom, when Silvia oppened her hart to Pepa (the first video above).

    Considering that Silvia would have fixed her “visibility” problem to Pepa, my favorite “Silvia returns” scenario would take place in the same bathroom Silvia declared her love…Pepa looking down washing her face and when raising her head, she would see Silvia through the mirror, standing behind her and that bathroom scene starting all over again. I could feel a cold chill down on my spine watching a scene like that…..

    ….And thousands of goosebumps as well.


  13. In trying to answer Anik’s question, “Why do we love Silvia and Pepa?” I of course ended up doing a lot of research. 😉 I found myself focusing on an ancillary question, namely, why did Silvia and Pepa fall in love with one another? I’ll spare you the 3-page scene analysis I compulsively spewed forth to myself last night on this subject, but I will refer you to a couple of formative passages (thanks to pepsienglish & random_flores) from early in the Pepsi storyline: and

    It seems to me that they each represent something that the other needs in their character, but also have a hidden gift or beauty that only the other person recognizes and celebrates. Pepa admires Silvia’s professionalism and aptitude, but she also gives the normally poised and elegant Silvia room to be a little messy, to spurt blood all over her face, or to snort when she laughs – and gives Silvia plenty of opportunity for the latter. However, as much as Silvia is drawn to the unrestrained hellion constantly breaking rules, risking chaos and challenging her poise, Silvia is equally captivated by the unsuspected poet inside of Pepa (who fell in love with a woman seen crying through a window, or lay in the grass at the end of a runway while the airplanes took flight above, just for the sensation of it.)

    As for Pepa: well, I think Pepa was basically made to love Silvia, but above and beyond that, Silvia offers Pepa the opportunity to ground her craziness with a little bit of roots. Maybe just as importantly, Silvia gives Pepa room to manifest *herself* as the grounding or kind influence, the opportunity to be the partner who wipes the schmutz off her lover’s nose when the autopsy gets messy. When, in the hangar scene, Pepa has the steadiness and courage to teach Silvia how to walk hand in hand with her to an imaginary last kiss at an imaginary public train station, Pepa has those qualities in part because Silvia, who is normally the string tethering everyone else’s kite, has evoked that capacity in her. (That line of Pepa’s just kills me every time: “En el primer lugar, no tienes que imaginarte con una mujer; tienes que imaginarte conmigo.” Apologies if I’ve messed it up in Spanish.)

    Why does it even matter? Why is it so beguiling and joyful to watch these two fall in love? I agree with what has been said already: there’s something special about this relationship, something transcendant in the telling of it – both in the dialogue as written and in all the unspoken dialogue and character development that Aguilar and Sanchez conveyed to us through facial expressions and gestures both grand and minute. The (or one) truth about love that resonates for me in the Pepsi story is what I often think of as – shamelessly adapting from a Joseph Conrad title — the “secret sharer” aspect of relationships. We see that broken shard of ourselves buried in the other person, and delight in lifting it up to the light; we see that humble shard of beauty that is completely the other’s, and we delight in lifting that up to the light as well; and ultimately, we enjoy that, in the process of doing so, we become more completely or more excellently ourselves, or the selves that we always knew or thought we could be.

    Sorry for such a long response. Clearly, a button got pushed, and a lot of words flew out!


    1. so true. And so poetic, too. (where did you say again you put that 3-page analysis?)

      I’ve never rally thought about Pepa in Silvia in terms of “finding that piece in the other that completes the puzzle you are” (which is something far different than the “half an orange” theory that basically declares singles to be inept), but it makes a lot of sense – particularly the exchange of qualities we admire in the other, and letting the other also be what they, to the rest of the world, are not. Beautifully put, thanks a lot! I’ll be thinking about this for a lot longer still…


      1. @Anik, you are very kind! The 3-page analysis is currently sitting on my hard drive. However, I’d be happy to pass it along if you like. And, I love the distinction you make between “completing the puzzle” and “making up the other half of an orange,” as if a person without a pair would somehow lie flat instead of roll along quite nicely, thank you.


    2. @nondramafly: thanx for your thoughts. I read your comment last night, wanted to reply but couldn’t find anything to add to what you wrote. So I read it again this morning – you captured the essence of PepSi and gave me a lot to think with writing about “secret sharer” concept. Kudos


    3. That line ” not a woman, but me” was also written for another reluctant lesbian character, Teresa Garcia, from “Amar en tiempos revueltos”, and I guess it is true for some women being lesbian because of loving a woman. Silvia tells Crazy Rita that only Pepa excites her, that she doesn’t care for women, only Pepa. And the fact that Pepa is Lucas with ovaries settled the question. That concept of true one love in fiction is atractive and works well when couple separate. A cousin married the same guy three times,in real life.!


  14. that does it. we’re going to have to move to europe. not only is there great opera, but better TV as well. all i’ve seen of this show are these two clips, which are enough to make me want more. in particular the actor who plays silvia is mesmerizing. whew.


  15. @Anik, @nondramafly and @Anonymous

    I am speachless….you have given to me lots to think about…I would say there is nothing else missing to be discussed.

    Anik, I like your comparison with “Vertigo”. For those familiar with this Alfred Hitchcoch’s thriller, readers can see it really sounds like that!
    A Friday Night Conversation that has extended itself to this Sunday, so far! Great!
    Thank you!


  16. Ahhh…..I was forgetting to say that Povedilla had been my favorite character as well. Now that he has assumed a ‘dark’ posture, the character has lost its charm.
    I still “watch” LHDP but in fact I push the fast foward bar to “watch” it at a glance.
    I miss the old LHDP.


  17. I have to say that I’ve so enjoyed this conversation! I keep going back and re-reading both Anik’s original essay and the whole string of comments. You all have said so much to jostle my own thinking on the subject(s) Anik raised — it’s been pure, unadulterated *fun*. Thanks, Anik, for starting up such a great ruckus.

    A couple of thoughts in response to particular items:
    – Anik, the “myth of purpose, not of distraction” — so perfectly said! Yes, I think this is a huge part of the attraction for me to PepSi, and the way in which that gets played out to me is the “secret sharer” thing.
    – Like many of you, I do vote for a lonely & driven Pepa, with Silvia returning — because I do buy into the myth of purpose, though in real life I am not opposed to distraction in its own time and place. 😉 @selma in brazil (can I just call you selma? 🙂 ) you mentioned that Silvia coming back as a ghost doesn’t really solve the problem, and that Silvia would/should not be averse to Pepa moving on, having a second chance at love. Again, here’s that real-life/fiction line of division for me: in real life, I’d totally agree with you. And, maybe in fiction, my preference for Silvia to just find her way back on some magical-realism-flying-carpet of happy endings to Pepa’s arms is a reflection of a basically immature POV on my part. I can admit that. Having said that, I still want it. Can i have it? 🙂 BTW, I loved your scenario of Silvia’s return. Consider the goosebump transmission… received! (Are you working on a fanfic chapter yet?)
    – Just an observation that, for a lot of us, MA’s acting is a key component of what makes this r’ship unforgettable. I also agree with selma that LS’s acting was compelling by any standard, but particularly considering that this is her first acting gig (or so I understand.)
    – @puritymccall: Your point about level of investment in characters changing with both real-life commitments and the advent of clips & compilations on the internet is well taken. I still remember the first time I stumbled onto Xena, and then when it began to dawn on me that something more was going on between Xena & Gabriel. Maybe that’s part of what made it special — I had to work to get there, nobody told me there was this show called Xena with some serious subtext going on, nobody pre-packaged the storyline for me. As you say, I had a commitment to watch it every week and see where they would take the subtext next. Given that there’s no other way I would know about PepSi, Marina & Esther, Maca & Esther, Carla & Hanna, or probably a dozen other pairings without youtube and the internet, I’m still grateful for its presence. But yeah, your point is well taken.
    — @Anik, you’ve brought up so many points that are just spot-on (the blurring of subject/object in LDHP, gender norms, etc., etc.) I can’t do justice to them in a reasonably sized post. But, please do keep ’em coming! And yes, Povedilla — he’s like Scarecrow; I’ll miss him most of all.


  18. @nondramafly: verbosity – you say it as if it would be a bad thing! 😉 No cutting down on interesting thoughts, please!

    I agree on the added enjoyment of discovering a fandom (particularly a subtext one) on one’s own – Xena happened to me much the same way as you described it. There were Sunday afternoons where I watched the show with my brother, him filing his nails and me cleaning and sharpening my Swiss Army knife (I really should have gotten a clue back then!), and bit by bit, I caught on to looks and comments that could be read ambiguously… to discover a fandom on your own as opposed to stumbling over it in a neat YT package may be the difference between climbing a mountain or taking the ski lift up to the top. The view from the mountaintop is the same, but the gratitude and connection you feel to the fictional context (or those mountaintops in the vicinity) is much more intense.


  19. @nondramafly,
    Yes, for sure you can call me Selma; this is my first name.
    And following Anik’s comment, I am the second one in the list to ask you NOT TO CUTTING DOWN your thoughts. I don’t know what you do for living, but you write fluently and very well. I wished I could do at least 1% of what you did above. Excellent! And, btw, I am not used to write texts and/or anything related to fanfictions. I am used to write technical reports only, directly related to my profession.But I am fun of movies, good and ones, classics, Alfred Hitchcock’s, and it inspires me a lot! And addressing your comment about “real-life/fiction line of division” I see and agree with you. That is perhaps, the feeling we readers have about this scenario.
    Thank you and congractlations for your job!

    @Anik and readers, this first Friday Night Conversation is awesome!


    1. So, this is good practise. You should try your hand at short fanfictions, say 500 or 1000 word ones to begin with and see how it goes.

      Anik and I and I am sure several others here did not learn to write English first, so practise makes better and lots of practise makes much better. English is one of those languages though, that it is never quite perfect. It can always be improved, which is a reason it is so much fun to play with.


      1. @Rain,
        Ah, please don’t ask me the impossible…ha…ha..Thank you for encouraging me, but it doesn’t work! I really don’t have a clue how to do it. Sorry…


        1. Ah nonsense, the impossible just takes a little longer.

          Start with 100 words. Put it here in the comment. I could give you a challenge, does not even have to be fanfiction or love or anything complicated.

          In 100 to 200 words, describe a glass of water so that I can visualise it. (No, really. It’s something we all know, it’s a simple idea, but it involves touch, sight, taste, even smell.)

          Ready? Go!

          PS: If you decide to do this, I will reciprocate in a small challenge of your choosing.

          (participation is voluntary of course I am just enthusiastic)


        2. #Rain,

          50% of me says ‘yeah, Selma, go ahead. You have nothing to lose!’
          But the other 50% says ‘Selma, it is ridiculous!’

          I feel like trying….

          We Brazilians are soooo complicated sometimes, ha, ha..


    2. @selma, thanks for being so encouraging – I really appreciate it. I will just note that, unlike several others on this forum, english was/is my first language, so I’ve had more practice than most. 🙂 Now, if my spanish or my italian were anywhere close to as good as the english that you all speak — well, I’d be working for the UN ( I think actually they require 5 languages, though, don’t they?) Instead, I pretty much still have to rely on the kindness of others for understanding PepSi, M&E, the other M&E, etc., etc. Anyway, I think you do pretty amazing, technical writer or not, and I one day look forward to hearing the rest of the PepSi reunion if you ever do choose to figure that out on paper. But, no pressure. 😉


      1. @nondramafly, now it’s my turn to thank you for encouraging me -I do appreciate it as well.Besides English I studied German and I can easily understand Spanish (Spanish and Portuguese are something similar), and some Italian too.
        Do you know what kills me ? Prepositions: in, on, at, for, over….Wow, it is a big challenge! Another issue: idiomatic expressions and wording that fits for the purpose. As an example I can mention here the way you and me expressed the same idea in a different way. I wrote “Silvia can at least see her and be aware of Pepa’s feelings”, while you said “Silvia would/should not be averse to Pepa moving on”. Oh my, it makes feel devastated! There is an abyss in between, you see?

        Modesty, my Portuguese knowledge is billions lightyears better than English and it is so frustrating to realize how difficult it is to absorv so many detais!

        And you, do you speak Portuguese? How did you learn “Um grande abraço”?

        Italian is the language I enjoy most and, by the way….

        ….te voglio una ottima settimana.
        Prendersela con calma con la barreta di cioccolata!!

        Muito obrigada.
        Um beijo,


        1. LOL, I totally agree with that frustration! For me my difficulties in Spanish are usually just a rusty and sparse vocabulary. But, sometimes when I try to understand Italian, I can get the individual words, but the actual phrase completely escapes me! I have to say I speak absolutely zero Portuguese (even though my brother in law is actually from Brazil). I can understand tiny bits sometimes because a little Spanish is still in my brain, and I know a teeny tiny bit of Italian, but really it’s just enough to get me into trouble! 🙂 Sometimes, too, certain phrases in certain languages just mean what they say more to me than they do in English, just because I’ve had certain experiences with certain people in those other languages. And then online, google translate is my friend. (Which is how um grande abraço came about: my instinct was to say, “Un abrazo” because that phrase is a part of my instinctual vocabulary at this point, but I felt like it would be more important at that moment to say it to you in your language, so I did. Little enough to do, but with much heartfelt warmth/good intentions behind it.)


        2. @ selma in brazil. Ah yeah. Hmm, I am learning Portuguese, quite the language, and while I think there are similarities to Spanish, or Italian of course, seeing as the languages are Latin, I think it is a very distinct, unique and individual language, more so than the others.

          In the beginning, I was like: What is different that it sounds so unique. I settled upon something to do with vowels, and then I did some research.

          Anyway, English is a wild language, I concur. I think only the supremely and unpleasantly arrogant think that they have nothing more to learn about English. I have been at the written side since I was about 13 or 14, and I will be 36 this year, so still practising.

          You do fine and no on here cares if you mix up your prepositions, we have better things to talk about.


        3. @nondramafly, I do appreciate your effort with the “heartfelt warmth/good intentions”. It made all the difference in me.
          Take care.


        4. The GhostSilvia, I believe was written to appease the PEPSI FAN rioting all over the planet, whether Marian was asked to consider coming back, I doubt it. Beingthat they payed homage or copied many Hollywood movies, I wonder if the intent was to imitate GHOST. Paco was crazy, that ‘ s why he sees Silvia but so was Pepa and in great danger. GhostSilvia has no gravitas, she seems to be having a great time dead, unlike Sam, the guy in Ghost who woudn’t leave until his untimely death and his girl’s dangerous situation be resolved. I didn’t understand GhostSilvia NOT appearing to Salgado and scaring the bejesus and ordering her to leave Pepa alone. A pissed off Silvia was capable of protecting her woman as much.


  20. @nondramafly: 3-page-analysis msot welcome at aniklachev [at] web [dot] de!

    @everyone: …any suggestions, wishes or ideas for the next Friday Conversation?


    1. I was wondering if any of you know what’s going on with Hospital Central. Did Telecinco stop with the actual filming – the last chapter I saw was in February.
      I really liked the new look of Esther and her starting to think of a second career as a writer. Lots of potential for developing Esther’s character. And Maca’s newfound sister looked promising too. It would be a real loss if there was no more HC to look forward to. I like the whole series and compared to LHDP, which I only watched in order to get updates on PepSi, it’s fun to watch every HC chapter and see what’s new with all of the characters.
      As for the next Friday conversation I think that M&E are always worth a discussion although I can’t come up with a specific topic about them – but maybe one of you can…


    2. I like reading about TV and fanfiction and stuff, but I don’t watch TV much. Some shows online like Grey’s Anatomy, and I have wathed the shows from the major fandoms, such as Xena, Voyager and so on, so I am able to either bluff my way through or I learn about something new.

      TV is so different now than what it was ten or fifteen years ago. Quite extraordinary really. I watched Xena when it was on TV. The subtext in that show got everyone’s juices going. I find in many cases, subtext is better than maintext for creative writing.

      Maybe it’s just me.


      1. Funny, I don’t even have a TV. I only watch online and very specifically spanish tv/movies as it brings back memories when I get homesick.
        I prefer reading over watching as I find it easier to make up my own fantasy world.
        It started with reading Missy Goods fanfic about Xena and only then did I realize that there was any kind of subtext at all in the show – I only watched it once in TV and didn’t have a clue then. And after starting to read fanfic in the Xenaverse I didn’t want to watch the show to not destroy my imagination.


        1. The show is worth watching. There is a season in the middle where they get all serious and bitchy and stuff, but otherwise, it’s quite the romp. Make it more fun, and get a historian to watch it with you, someone who specialises in say, 2000 bc to 1000 ad or so, and every time they splutter, have a drink.

          You’ll be drunk each show and it will be a blast!



        2. @Rain, I’ll keep that in mind and start looking for a historian now and a drink with low percentage of alcohol 😉


  21. @nondramafly:
    I was still thinking of your words above and I spent some time trying to find courage to expose myself in this forum, sharing with you a very intimate and sad chapter of my private life. I reinforce here that I totally agree with you when you mention “real-life/fiction line of division” in P&S story. But a long time ago I faced the loss of the woman I loved so much. It took me a long long time to accept it and to learn how I would keep on moving. I think that, unconsciously, it is much easier to me to chose the “real life” option, rather than the “fiction line”. It explains why I see Pepa deserving a second chance.


    1. Hey you. I have not had the opportunity yet to read over the larger posts in this discussion. No time as I am mainly writing a lot right now, but this caught my eye.

      Anik’s blog is online for the public to read, but everyone who posts here regularly will stand by you and come to your defence if needed, so I think you can post your private pain if you are thus inspired to.

      Things like that are never easy to write about, whether it’s the first time you do it, or the fiftieth time you do it.

      Whatever you are comfortable with we’re happy to read. I doubt I am being presumptuous when I say, we, either.


    2. Thanks for sharing your private thoughts. I can relate to what you wrote and I agree that everyone deserves a second chance.


    3. @selma: I think you have a lot of courage speaking about something so personal and so saddening in this or any forum. With Rain and Yvonne, I add my voice of welcome and thanks to you for sharing that piece of yourself. I can only imagine how that must have felt for you. I’m so happy for you that you got to experience that kind of love, and so sorry with you (if I can say it like that) that you lost that love in that way. There have been many moments for me when meditating or when going through something particularly upsetting or particularly joyful when I have felt the presence of certain people close to me whom I have lost. I don’t know if you believe in an existence after this life, but I do believe, if there is one, then those people are rooting for us, cheering us on, and comforting us as we move on through this life. In other words, I don’t want to press any beliefs in an afterlife on to you if that’s not your belief; on the other hand, I totally can imagine your partner/person loving you enough to root you on as you move forward, whether with others or on your own, or both. Either way, I think you have a lot of guts for keeping on moving, and I’m glad you made that choice — and that we, as a result of that, get to enjoy your presence here with us — which is a huge gift. Thanks for being here. Um grande abraço…


  22. @Yvonne, I don’t know if the reason you said you could relate to selma’s post was because you went through something similar, but if so … a huge hug to you as well, if it would be welcome, and thanks for being here.

    @everybody: Seems to me we spend all this time celebrating and deconstructing these relationships that happen in a fictional universe, and it’s all because they resonate for us with our real lives… and yet, sometimes I forget just how close to the gut it comes sometimes. Audre Lorde said that “poetry is not a luxury” for very good reason, and this is it, I’m sure. Grazie a tutti, just for being here, just for being…


    1. @nondramafly, hugs are always welcomed. Thank you for asking, caring and offering.
      My love is very much alive but not with me anymore as she chose to have a traditional family life where she doesn’t have to hide as she couldn’t bring herself to get out of the closet – therefor she got married to a guy.
      I realize that mentioning the second chance in this context has a double meaning and what I meant when I answered to selma’s post is that the person who has lost their love, deserves a second chance with somebody else. It seems impossible in the start to just leave your soulmate behind and move on and everybody has a different way of dealing with that – but if you care for your own happiness you need to look for another “source” to be happy again. That doesn’t mean that you have to forget what you had before – it made you the person you are now. And it doesn’t mean that your new source of happiness must be a person, it can be various things (job, hobby, traveling etc) depending on what makes your heart laugh. Some people never find true love in their lifes, others find it only to loose it, and some may get more chances.
      And speaking of soulmates it’s exhilarating to live it and also to witness it – PepSi gave me goosebumps for painting such a credible picture of that.
      I’m just hopelessly romantic, I guess 😉


      1. *sigh* Yeah, Audre said pretty much almost everything I ever needed to know, or have underlined to me, about life.


  23. @Rain, @Yvonne and @Nondramafly,

    Oh my God, I don’t know what to say…I am speachless again…Even if English was my first language, I would never find the right words to say how much I appreciate your comprehension and tenderness comforting me.

    @Yvonne: what a statement!!…I am very very sorry about that….You captured my idea when you quoted the ‘need to look for another “source” to be happy again’.

    @nondramafly: yes I strongly believe in an existence after this life, oh, yes I do. And for several times I experienced the findings of it.

    @Rain, @Yvonne and @Nondramafly: thank you, thank you, thank you. It is all I am able to say right now.

    I make mine Yvonne’s words when saying ‘hugs are always welcome’!! So…Millions of hugs to you as well (milhoes de abraços a voces tambem). And thank you for also being here!



  24. @ selma in brazil: Well, let the 50% that wants you to try win.

    As for Brasilians being complicated. Ah well, easy and simple and uncomplicated can be dull. And I am used to Brasilians, or well, one Brasilian anyway. Soon enough a lot more.

    Like I said, I will reciprocate in a mini-challenge of your choosing if you draw me a glass of water with words.


  25. @Anik, @nondramafly: wow, great point! I learned a lot reading your job and doing, at the same time, flashbacks that helped me follow the discussion and understand things that had never called my attention before. From now on I will watch it in a different way, indeed. Excellent!

    @Rain: the score has changed! 49% says “Noooooo”, but 51% says “yeah, do it”. So, I’ve accepted the challenge. It is not f/f ;I already have in mind a subject. Please give me time.
    I am glad you (and hopefully the readers of this blog) don’t care if I mix up prepositions, but I really do! Well, I am not going to be either 36 years old this year (I will be 49 in July), or have even used to write since I was 13 or 14, but I still want to achieve a better fluency in English. I still have time!!!
    Glad to know you are learning Portuguese ! And what a grammar, huh?


    1. @ selma in brazil

      Yay for 51%!

      I look forward to what you come up with, but no pressure, just know that I anticipate it eagerly. 🙂

      Yeah, Portuguese grammar. No idea yet, I am still in early stages but it is starting to come together though. Slowly but surely.

      I am sure by the time I am done my brain will be soup, as I already have the grammar of English, Finnish and French running around in it. Should be fun, just to add to my personal madness.

      I’m really quite sane, I am simply madly in love with one of your countrywomen and well, that makes for motivation!


      1. @Rain,

        Portuguese grammar is tough. Verb inflection and compliance with several rules…tough! I seldon find in the workplace people writing properly. It is a shame! And this lack of knowledge and lack of commitment on writting properly (at least, clear) drives me crazy! As I mentioned before, my job is basically specification of equipments and technical analysis. Well…it is so sad when you read a poor text that (the worse) results in ambiguity.

        Thank you for encouraging me! And be brave: you will survive to Portuguese!


        1. Hmm, sounds complex, but a little like Finnish. Finnish is a language ruled by the madness of an incredibly complex grammar. Words are conjugated to all hell. For example, table:

          Pöytä <—the basic word
          Pyödästä <— from the table
          Pöydälle <— to the table
          Pyötään <— equivalent to at the table
          Pöydän <—- possessive

          And that's just five, I could go on for another five without any effort at all.

          And this can happen with any word, for example Rain:

          Rainin <—Rain's
          Rainille <— give to Rain
          Rainiltä <— get from Rain

          And so on. Impossible language.

          I have studied Italian, I know French, and I have had exposure to Spanish. While Portuguese is distinct, I think it will not be a huge problem for my brain. Mainly I hesitate to say words out loud, as I am proud and pronunciation matters a great deal.

          I think immersion will be the true way to learn. 🙂


  26. About next Friday’s conversation, I once had a friend describe a poem (by Mary Oliver) to me as “a poem that could save your life.” The intensity of this conversation reminded me a bit of this… movies/TV series/fictionalized relationships/whatever that have just gotten me in the gut, that were present with me during major turning points, or that appeared later but formed a part of my processing around a major turning point. Is it worth talking about this aspect of our viewing, and why such-and-such a movie was important to us? Or would that just be too overwrought? 🙂


    1. I like your idea very much.
      I won’t be able to participate from the get-ge as I don’t think there will be internet available where I be over Easter holidays. But if the next topic turns out to be as captivating as this one then it should still be going strong in the middle of the week 😉


      1. Hmm, so how about we share “poems that saved our lives” this week and take a look at the Maca/Esther fandom the week afterwards (Yvonne, will you be around? After your “diversion” remark, I’m really interested in what else you could make me discover about a couple that I thought I already knew very well!)?


        1. Sounds like a good idea. I don’t read a lot of conventional poetry. I read antique Chinese and Japanese poems mostly with some Occidental exceptions to the rule, and write poetry of my own, but poetry is the great unifier in many ways. Just look at music, and how it crosses borders so easily.

          I digress, though. I look forward to the discussion in any case.


        2. Could be poems, music, movie, tv, whatever medium, no? — and BTW Rain if you have any antique Chinese poetry to send our way, bring it!


        1. Thanx, nondramafly, happy Easter to you too. I was looking forward to searching easter eggs in the garden but it just started to snow again in Germany and I drive to Bochum where there are no mountains to go skiing ;(
          And to keep myself in the loop of personal details you shared – I’m obviously german, but having a french surname I was obsessed with learning the language and culture when I was at college. I was quite fluent but then I lived one year in Spain for my studies and everything got mixed up in my head – now my best second language is spanish and then english. I lived in Ireland and New Zealand for a while but I never achieved to get to a level of english I feel comfortable with whereas when in Spain people think I’m spanish although I can assure you I don’t look spanish at all… English is easy to start with but then it get’s complicated and depending in which country you are, the idioms are different again. But I keep practising reading loads of english fanfiction and I’m really looking forward to reading Selma’s description of a glass of water.
          You just might be in the right place to describe it easily, Selma – sounds to me that your holidays will be full of sun and drinks and what would be better than a glass of water for the thirst 😉
          @Rain: Finnish would certainly overcharge my brain – I tried to learn Basque when living in San Sebastian and when I got told that they have 4 words for niece/nephew depending on the gender of the person talking plus the person you’re adressing I gave up.
          I think I tackle Portuguese when I start traveling South America and that will be a long time in coming.
          Ok, that’s my last update for now – talk to all of you after the holidays, have fun and take care.


    2. Well, I have no idea where this note is going to fall….anyways, I like @nondramafly’s & Anik’s idea.
      But….just like Yvonne, I will be “out-of-office” during Easter holidays and, honestly, far from internet…
      My last chance to look at something posted before traveling (eh, eh) will be Friday early morning (you people in Europe are 5 hours ahead)! So, if you don’t find any of my comments during the weekend, no worries.
      The days at the countryside will be VERY sunny and I will ride my bicycle, play tennis, make bread and bake it in a wood oven, drink beer, wine and the brazilian caipirinha (@Rain, ask our girlfriend about caipirinha)…you know, so boooooring (laughs)…
      BTW, is still snowing there??? Oh, God, too sad!!
      (Hey, no vodoos, please!)


      1. What time is it: (an excellent site for many things – make your own world clock, check weather and so on)


        No, not really snowing here any more, it’s melting. VooDoo, huh? LOL (Take a look at winter here:

        As for my girlfriend, yes. She has promised me a gastronomical tour of Brasilian food and drink that I will never forget.

        Can’t wait. 🙂

        I will be around during Easter, it is celebrated here not this is not a Catholic country, so the celebrations are more muted.


        1. @Rain,

          Hey, what an interesting site about time/date! I will add to my favorites!!

          Oh, wow, there is still lots of ice to smelt! And here I can wear short pants and non-sleeve shirts!

          A gastronomical tour through Brazilian food? Let me see: did she mention “feijoada”, “couve mineira”, “arroz tropeiro”, “tutu de feijao” among the several options? I was born and I’ve lived in Sao Paulo. Where is she from – Sao Paulo as well? Let me tell you one last thing: modesty, Brazilian food is delicious, tasteful! And our caipirinha … no words!
          Enjoy it!


      2. I’m a little jealous of the week in the countryside! Sounds gorgeous. Between this and pics of snowcapped mountains from Rain, descriptions of Germany from Yvonne, I’m just a little saddened about the lack of seasons where I live…and the constancy of the urban landscape….ah, well — glad everyone’s got some beauty going on in their space this weekend, one way or another!


  27. Yes, you’re right. That’s why I like Hospital Central – Maca and Esther are portrayed as a “normal gay” couple for several seasons now with all sorts of problems you can find in real life – I don’t see them used as a diversion. Do you?


    1. Well, this comment should have gone somewhere else too – namely at the end of the recent discussion, after Rain’s…


    2. @Yvonne (and hoping that this coment won’t jump anywhere else): I’ve never looked at them from this angle, but now that you mention it, I think a lot of the appeal of the Maca/Esther pairing is for me that they are not used as a diversion. That may mean less explicit scenes between them, but I don’t really see them set up as titillation.


      1. @Anik: I know what you mean. I guess the question is also what viewers are looking for – explicit scenes (like Maca and “the blonde” diversion) or a portray of a married couple (starting with getting to know each other, then one love-scene more or less explicit so that you know that they’re now an item and then it continues with shared real life experiences). Maca and Esther are one of the constant couples in HC, if not THE most constant one if you compare several seasons. Who else, other than Teresa, has a solid relationship?
        I should be around the week after Easter, very much looking forward to it 😉


  28. @Rain,

    O God, is Finnish that way? Yes, crazy!

    Related to verb inflection, a small taste:

    I sing = eu canto
    I will sing = Eu cantarei
    I would sing = eu cantaria
    I used to sing = eu cantava
    If I would sing = Se eu fosse cantar

    English is more straightfoward. All you need to know are the auxiliary verbs.

    Escusa, devo andare. Il lavoro…


      1. @nondramafly, portuguese and spanish are very close sometimes and, instinctively, we brazilians can easily understand it.


  29. @ nodramafly — I will have to think up or dig up some poetry for Friday. I have lots of my own of course, but that’s obscenely private. So, I will think of my Antique Oriental Obsession instead and try to come up with something to contribute.

    @ Yvonne — I am accepting glasses of water from you as well, if you care to draw me one with words. I’ll make it fun. As with selma in brazil, if you draw me a glass of water with words, I will reciprocate in a similar mini challenge of your choosing.

    @ selma in brazil — Um, some of those words look familiar. I have been doing a lot of reading about Brasil and whenever I can, I milk my girlfriend for information. I am sure those will be included. In any case, what I have read about and heard about sounds yummy. And the pictures I have seen look good enough to eat.

    Thank you for your, introduction to Portuguese grammar. Well, I never really had any trouble with French or Italian grammar, so hopefully my brain won’t melt too much, huh? I am someone who learns by listening and because I have to, so even though I have been doing a lot of research and practising, in the end it is when I am surrounded by the language that I will really learn it. It’s an exciting prospect to say the least. I am as I said proud, and motivated.


    1. BTW Rain, I’m definitely looking forward to some Chinese or Japanese poetry from you, but if you ever feel so inclined to share your own, that would be more than welcome, as well!


    2. Well, Rain, of course I accept the challenge and I’m currently working on my drawing. Be patient with me, please.


  30. @nodramafly, @Rain, @ Anik, @tiddlyfratz, @Anonymous, @Cerise, @Yvonne, @towanda, @Samantha,@puritymccall and @Anonymous (whoever you are),

    I wish you all a super Happy Easter, lots of chocolate (Hmmmm, I love it)and thank you for being here in this first Friday Night Conversation. Hopefully the first out of ….

    I “see” you soon!
    Kisses from Brazil and a big hug to you!

    Hasta luego,
    Auf wiedersehen
    Au revoir,


    PS1. My ‘debut’ won’t be about glasses and its contents (even though I am an expertise on its contents, ha, ha). It will be about….I won’t tell you what it will be though, to build the antecipation…

    PS2. Ah, Yvonne, I hope you come to Brazil one day soon. There is a lot of places to be visited here. Quite different from Germany (I have been there twice, my first one in 1991), it’s a young and wild country, with beautiful landscapes in the countryside and in the coast. And, if you need tips in order to plan your trip, it would be a pleasure to help you on it.


  31. A last message:
    When I left a note to Yvonne about traveling to Brazil, it inspired me to search at youtube something very brazilian to show you, my friends.
    Beneath, 3 links to Bossa Nova songs, 2 with English lyrics and 1 sang in English and Portuguese. Are you familiar with Bossa Nova?

    Enjoy it.


    1. Such relaxing music! I have a passing familiarity with bossa nova and these particular songs — but had only listened to them, never thought to look them up on youtube. It’s fun to watch the live performances! Thanks for sharing!


    2. Selma, welcome back! I’m still on vacation but found an internet connection I can use from time to time.
      First of all thank you very much for your kind offer to give me tips about your lovely country – I’d love that although it will take some years to save the money for that particular trip. But I will travel South America and I will go to Brazil – therefor any suggestions are very welcome. I’d be very much interested in those landscapes you mentioned. I love remote places and the countryside location you described would certainly be a place I’d go too if I were able. I’m not so much into cities – can only stay there for some days but then I have to go into nature, if possible walking and best of all stay at some cabin overnight and be gone in the wilderness for several days – any suggestions? I guess you’ll be around Anik’s blog for some time in the future, the same as me and I’ll give you a shout before buying plane tickets 😉 Should you ever plan to give Germany a third chance please tell me – maybe I can help with some tips of mine…
      By the way, I like Bossa Nova a lot, thank you for posting the youtube-links. I particularly like covers made in Bossa Nova style. If you want to know what I’m listening to at the moment try this

      Another singer performing in a mix of different languages is Lhasa de Sela – she has a stunning voice.
      My favourite Loreena McKennitt is Dante’s Prayer 😉
      And now I’m off to bed – have a good week and talk to you soon.


  32. Okay, I am here again for the last, now.
    Back to Pepa&Silvia, I found a song that translates everything P&S felt for each other. This is one of the most beautiful Brazilian songs “Eu sei que vou te amar” or “I know I’ll love you so”, composed by Vinicius de Moraes and Tom Jobim.

    Translated into English:

    I know I’ll love you so
    As long as I’m alive, I’ll love you so
    With each goodbye I know I’ll love you so
    Relentlessly and desperately I’ll love you so
    And every verse I’ll write will say just this:
    Will say: I know I’ll love you so
    As long as life is in me

    I know that I will cry
    Each time you leave, I know that I will cry
    Tears falling from the time you say goodbye
    ‘Til you return and wipe them from my eyes
    I know I’ll suffer so,
    An endless misadventure, yes I know
    Just waiting to be at your side once more
    For all my life, I know it.



  33. I’m going to ignore the ‘hug’ that Pepa shared with Deker this week and reminisce about the good ol’ days.
    For me LHDP really got something right when they put Pepa and Silvia together. Something that had been lacking in other lesbian roles in film and TV. I think the Magic in the Hangar is part of what it’s all about. I appreciate Anik and her blog for A) putting everything in such well thought out, eloquent sentences and B) giving us a place to voice our feelings.
    I know why I sometimes turned to the Magic in the Hangar. I watched it a few times because it’s what I strive to be / do. I’ve been out for almost 20 years and yet these situations at the train station or wherever still come up. I don’t want to forget to keep kissing my wife in public when we see each other. It is work to be out and stay out. Secondly, Pepa is exactly what everyone needs, someone to hold your hand and to make everything ok. And Silvia . . . she is the vulnerable part in us all. She shows us that it can be done. We can love and overcome the fear that holds us back. In a way Pepa is our strength and Silvia our vulnerability.

    Pepa and Silvia were treated with almost the same care as a straight couple. Everything was so romantic. Except that men were always watching, they were almost equal. The Magic in the Hangar reminds us of who we are, that we’re not equal, but we’re not so bad off either. Then the Magic lets it slip away so that we can enjoy holding hands, the color of the sea, the ordinary things which are so romantic when you’re in love, touching, saying goodbye at the station, sharing a lingering kiss.


  34. It was really hard to watch Pepa sleep with Deker and not go WTF?! This has probably been commented on in the above comments but I have to rant because I’m really feeling quite traumatized. :p

    I do hate that they introduced Pepa as a lesbian and have her sleeping with first Aitor (who I didn’t really mind that much under the circumstance), then Deker. I don’t think I’d find Pepa sleeping with another woman as offensive as the Pepa/Deker hook up (and post coital snuggling! ugh!)

    Okay, end rant. 🙂


  35. i still wonder why marian decided to leave the show when the time was just so perfect for her character silvia and her better half pepa. but the storyline became so realistic in a sense that we definitely have no control over our lives …we are only meant to live life …it’s really the choices we make that will make it worthwhile. i fell in love with both pepa and silvia, it’s really hard to leave someone behind, it’s just not part of our choice anymore. i hope they’ll make a spin off movie centered on these two characters and this time, make that big twist from real to fairy tale …and they live happily ever after. Maybe that might mend my shattered heart…until then. To Pepa and Silvia – until eternity!


  36. I need to see a love story between pepa & silvia I am very up to date with silvia dead it will be passed on to you if someone else comes along with pepa instead, I would not see it I should silvia with. it is much better to proceed further.
    If the movie made ​​it even better.


  37. It’s been 3 months since the last time I visited this site. I can’t help but keep coming on your site.Probably everybody moved on but me I feel overdosed with this Pepsi obsession.By any chance,were you also part of the “Pepsi University” that I also found online?

    I admire and adore your work.Actually I’m consistently checking your blogs and I’m loving them.


    1. thank you, it’s great to know you’re enjoying my work.

      I am not involved with the Pepsi University, although it does sound like a place where I should get a degree.

      I am looking forward to your next visit!


  38. Well, for everybody’s info, Pepa did not fall in love with Deker or to anybody else in the last season of LHDP. I was so happy with the storyline. She chose to be a happy lesbian single. She remained loyal to Silvia until the end of the season. Kudos to the scripwriters. They made us all happy.


    1. She is with a girl ( pretty cop) who silently mouth ” guapa” to her and then Pepa kisses her on the forehead, lie the beginning of a totally different relationship. Some people are lucky to love twice but the two loves are not the same.
      It’ s at the celebration of Paco getting to be Commissioner before the puto equipo de remos.


  39. I found out about Pepa and Silvia just this week haha! But their story is just so perfect!

    So can I ask, what was the real reason Marian Aguilera wanted to leave the show?


    1. I have no idea; possibly wanting to work on other productions and/or more theatre – at the time she couldn’t know that LHDP would only run for another season.


      1. Marian probably let them know at the end of the previous temporary, at least, probably maybe her contract expired also at the end of the 8, who knows. The writers needed time to develop a plot to write her out. And, in my opinion, they killed her on camera and so cruel because they were pissed off that she was leaving the show. They could’ ve killed her off camera like they killed Lucas, witness to same bad shit, going on a witness protection program. Imagine the Marx Brothers craziness, with Pepa going to visit her, and the cops checking on her security and so on? What fun! And Silvia never actually seen on camera?! Her ghost was probably a consent to allow her to leave, one chapter only. I

        loved when Paco yells: Silvia shut up! but nobody asked anything, of course Paco was crazy already. What a show! Although I dislike season 9 being non-comedy, no Luas


    1. that it was pointless because there was too much damage done already? – I’d have to rewatch, but I still find it too painful.


    2. I don’t think it was explained at all. Maybe when she saw where it was she realized it was pointless to pull it out and she had already bleed out to death. I watched that twice, the first time was in tears beyond control, the second time, same thing. Even writing about it now my eyes are in tears. It’s really strange why we are so emotional, I don’t think men would feel anything. I am hispanic so I watch LHDP and the yt clips periodically. I feel better seeing so many are obssesed with Silvia and Marian Aguilera. I saw one interview when she told she was leaving, Carlos Santos–Povadilla– was also interviewed, she became emotional and almost cry. Very interesting. I have a theory, that they became very invested in their characters and sort of loved each other and maybe Marian wanted to get away from a situation because they are very good friends but not lovers or lesbians in real life.


  40. I only recently discovered Paco and the Magic couple. I wonder IF would have been the same with other actresses and answer is negative. It’ s the pelirroja princess fault. I for one I m crazy for Marian Aguilera. I understand her wanting to be far away from Silvia Castro but I think Silvia is her ghost. I hear there is a planned reunion movie for 2015. Can they do it w/o Silvia? I also miss Lola and Sara can stay playing Queen Isabella. Pepa can and should have a new love, a girl who knows and accepts that a piece of Pepa’s heart died with Silvia on her wedding day, she can have the rest of Pepa body and soul. I hated Pepa sleeping with Dekker, a lesbian don t sleep with guys, ask Ellen or Rosie or kd. A male wrote that.
    My love for these couple is that I loved a woman 25 years ago I met and fell in love with a desquiciada who refused to even talk to me and I never got over it, a half kiss, first and only kiss. I don t know what emotions are tuched


  41. Is anybody still comenting? I came late to the party. I see most are 2010, during the last season. Maybe if Marian knew it would end she would stay and make her fans REALLY happy. I am crazy about Marian, as an older women I think maybe as a daughter…I really don’t know, and I am not a lesbian but could have been once–like Lola said–Because you are hetero can’t fall in love with a woman? I am fascinated with Marian, I can’t get enough and I watched her other work…but NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU–SILVIA. I read somewhere Paco is planning a reunion in 2015, with or w/o Silvia? I was thinking if the producers, Antena3, whoever owns Paco cut enough film during editing than they can put together a Silvia and Pepa true love re-teling story. It’s doable! I miss all of them, but Sara. I can’t stand Sara. M
    y mindmovie, Sara is the only one the m
    afia executes to punish Paco. No mafia would kill an entire police corps like that grandiose opera


  42. Hi my name’s Gina, and I stumbled across the Pepsi story line of LHDP in Feb this year, while searching the Marbecca story line. I became an instant fan, with a love for both Marian Aguilera and Laura Sanchez.
    I have watched many Lesbian story lines in both television and movies, and I highly rate the Pepsi story as the best ever. I agree with an earlier comment posted that this story was about, ” love “. The fact that it was between to beautiful women of course is and will forever be something that I will treasure forever. Both MA and LS acting of these characters was simply “Top class”, and, no-one else could’ve portrayed these characters any better. They seemed so beautiful together and their chemistry, body talk, and unspoken communication was breath taking. Marian Aguilera has the most expressive face I’ve ever seen. She can say so much with her eyes, she just melts me! Laura Sanchez was simply incredible for someone who came from Modelling. No other could act the part of Pepa, who would’ve believed this was her first acting role, or so I read.
    I was, like so many around the world, taken on the “Pepsi ride”, a ride of empowering love, acceptance, marriage, the ultimate ” TRUE LOVE “. But Wtf were the writers, producers thinking. How the hell could they have done that to such a beautiful story of Love. Like so many I cried my heart out, felt betrayed, felt lost, I couldn’t believe it and still don’t want too. I like to think Pepa and Silvia are still together, loving each other, growing together, having a family, etc.
    So my thoughts are, if there is ever a reunion/movie or whatever, that MA and LS have to come back, and continue their story. It just feels incomplete, like a gaping wound, we the fans deserve a better ending don’t you think! I read another blog and someone had written their view of how the story should go, and it’s something like this:
    Silvia has been shot and even though Pepa and DL believe her to be dead, once Silvia is taken in the ambulance the paramedics continue working on her, and they get a very weak pulse. She’s immediately put in witness protection, where the hospital staff are fighting for her constantly. When she appears before Paco as an apparition, it’s at these times she’s caught between living and dying. To protect her, not even Pepa or DL or anyone are aware of her status. She’s taken away from San Antonio altogether to a private hospital under guard. The battle to save her life is achieved, however she’s in a coma! Only once the authorities are completely satisfied that the entire Mafia organisation is brought down, either killed or captured, that they notify Paco and DL. They, both take Pepa to the private hospital and only when they get there, do they tell her about Silvia. Of course Pepa is instantly overcome with tears and a flood of emotions, feelings she’s been suppressing all this time, but her Silvia is there waiting for her, waiting to hear her LAUGH. Remember that’s what Silvia said to Pepa at Curtis bedside. “If she was ever in a coma she’d want to hear her laugh”, well it can happen. Just imagine that, Pepa not leaving her bedside for a moment, talking to her, discussing their honeymoon that they have to go on, talking about having a family, joking and laughing…..see there is scope for a continued story, imagination is a wonderful thing, and in this it can be done.
    The creators, writers, producers of LHDP or whoever can work a different ending, I believe and like to believe in an ending befitting a beautifully written story. A story of True love, Life and Never ending Happiness, for all eternity. This Pepa/Silvia story deserves to end in the light not the dark, in the good not the evil, that’s what our Pepsi is, Love.
    Well, I’ve never written or responded to anything like this before and apologise in advance for making this quite lengthy, I have enjoyed reading all the comments and pass on my heartfelt gratitude for having the opportunity to express my thoughts, feelings here.

    I’m from New Zealand


  43. I came late to the party, only last year and I think I’ not the ony one. They are a legend deservely so. I just can’ t stand any other couple because they are the gold standard, and yes, I cried, for weeks and thd way out of the misery was just, as fiction is fiction does, Silvia never died. The cosest I accepted that, at the 5 anniversary, was a story that Silvia survived the shooting but nobody knew, only D.L. kept his daughter iincognito in some institution in a coma all these years…and suddenly, she wakes up and he needs helps. D.L. tels Paco and Pepa, who is not very happy, she has made her life without Silvia. Well, it’ s dramatic all right. And realistic, I think.


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