Dess Dee Mona & Dr. (Te)No(r)
(an “Otello”-inspired subtext spoof; all images: click to enlarge)
Dess Dee Mona’s jaw was long and bony, her chin a jutting V under the more flexible V of her mouth. Her nostrils curved back to make another, smaller V…
Things were running smoothly in Mamma Mona’s business.
“And? Do we have a deal?”
“Run that scheme by me again?” The tip of a stiletto heel tapped impatiently against the parquet.
“I take the three tenors off your back and get 50% of the ticket sales?”
“I hope I heard 15%, Elv.” Tap, tap, tap. “Done.”
“Business?” Mona opted for guileless. “I’m just here to sing the Willow Song.”
“False modesty doesn’t become you.” At second sight, the physique beneath the demure clothes and the slight accent belied what had to be a KGB past. “Why do you think you’re sporting the sleek dress? – The really sleek, really fetching dress…”
Mona blinked. “And you are…?” It was neither the time nor the place to meet someone, least of all an agent who was most likely just out to disrupt her smoothly running operation.
The stranger shrugged. “I’d say I’m just taking care of tissues – “
” – but false modesty doesn’t become you, either.” Prudent or not, that accent was downright hypnotizing.
“Emilia Klebb, Secret Mezzo Service. I was sent to warn you about The Elv.”
“Elv? – Don’t be ridiculous. He doesn’t get anywhere near the Willow Song!”
“Just be careful. It would be a shame if that dress would have to go without its model.”
That one caught Mona almost off her guard. Almost. “And here I thought I had the claim on mezzo charm staked…”
A dark canteen, deep in the basement. Mona had called a meeting, and she was calling the shots.
“Okay, tenor boys. In case you haven’t gotten it yet – which is entirely possible, since you are both tenors – You. Don’t. Mess. With. Mamma.”
“Really, could it have been that easy? Baule beginners!”
Also, after than much tenor coloratura, a chilled, frothy beer was in order…
Mona won. (Of course.)
But still there was no chance to enjoy that cold beer – noises and shots outside in the hallway!
Mona never knew what hit her.
(a bass and two tenors, one of them in a cat costume)
Luckily, Emilia Klebb in her standard secret-service-raincoat wasn’t far away.
“The ganged up on you to steal the Willow Song, I warned you about that bass!”
“Your voice isn’t half bad, either…” And waking up to it was definitely not the worst way of waking up that Mona could imagine.
But in comfort, Mona finally got to sing the Willow Song – all by herself!